I Heart Batman

How To Get A Man: Advice From A Cartoon Princess

2010-12-24T20:24:00.002-07:00

In keeping with my How To blog posts, I decided to share with all of you a fool proof way to get your man. This is timeless advice from Disney Princesses. Pick your favorite and take notes, ladies! Don't worry guys, stick around. There's some advice for you at the end, too.

Belle:

Snow White:

Ariel:

For guys:

Speak Now, or maybe don't

2010-12-17T11:38:00.004-07:00

I bought the Taylor Swift CD last night and I was listening to it today. The CD is called "Speak Now" and she has a song by the same title. I really like Taylor Swift, not because she's an amazing singer by any means, but because her songs are so personal. These are the lyrics to that song; I find them quite interesting as I've felt inclined to do this a couple times in the past:

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in
On a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl

I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family
All dressed in pastel

And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

This is surely not
What you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Where I stand and say:

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said "speak now"

Fun gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play
A song that sounds like a death march

And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems I was uninvited
By your lovely bride-to-be

She floats down the aisle
Like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me, don't you?

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said "speak now"

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
Your time is running out
And they said, "speak now"

I hear the preacher say
"Speak now or forever hold your peace"
There's the silence, there's my last chance
I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me

Horrified looks from
Everyone in the room
But I'm only looking at you

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in
On a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl

So don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "speak now"

And you say
Let's run away now
I'll meet you when
I'm out of my tux at the back door

Baby, I didn't say my vows
So glad you were around when they said
"Speak now"

Like I said, this kind of hits home for me. I never actually went to the weddings or receptions because I didn't think I could handle watching them marry who I thought was the wrong girl for them, the kinds of girls who really do yell at their bridesmaids and make the man they are supposed to love feel like garbage and literally suck the life right out of them. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut and who am I tell them I thought they were living their lives wrong? And honestly, if they couldn't see it for themselves then I wasn't going to be able to change their minds, so I didn't go. I had no business being there anyway. But, unlike the person in this song, I wasn't uninvited to the weddings, I was invited six times. You heard me right, SIX. Ridiculous right? I burned the invitations in my driveway. We don't play the wedding march at LDS weddings, but I can imagine if they did and I had gone to those weddings, that it would have certainly sounded like the death march to me.

All of this seems really sad because I've felt every word of this song at one point, but one day I finally realized that I wouldn't want to be married to those boys. Why would I want to be married to someone who isn't aware of how other people make them feel? Why would I want to be married to someone who doesn't value their own happiness? Why would I want to be married to someone who doesn't have the guts to stand up for themselves? They were boys, and I am looking for a man. It took me awhile, but I'm grateful that I didn't give my life and heart to someone who wasn't deserving of it. Though I wouldn't wish those experiences on anyone and I certainly don't want to go through it again, I've loved and lived and learned and I am better for it.

Scarf Tying 101

2010-12-04T22:13:00.004-07:00

I love scarves, I always have. I've worn them since I was in middle school. BUT I only know a few basic ways to wear them. I've learned a few new ways here and there from seeing people wear them, but I've gotten quite bored with them. So, I have this drawer full of scarves and rarely wear them because I don't really know what to do with them. I decided to research it (aka Google) and I found an awesome, awesome series from ModCloth on how to tie scarves in such cute ways that I have never seen before. And they are in a handy video form. I found another one from Glamour.com which was supposedly Four New Ways to Tie Scarves, but it turned out to be Four Ways to Tie Scarves if You've Been Living Under a Rock. I already knew how to tie two of them and the other ways were hideous. I decided to put them on my blog so I could share them with you, but also so I'd have a quick reference to them in the future. Without further ado, here are some videos you probably don't care about. The second one is probably my favorite. (Thank you to Justin for teaching me how to embed the videos. You're a pal!)

Scarf Tying 101: 1st Installment

Scarf Tying 101: 2nd Installment

Scarf Tying 101: 3rd Installment

Scarf Tying 101: 4th Installment

Commentary on 10 Quirky Facts About Kissing

2010-11-12T13:16:00.005-07:00

This is an article from Yahoo.com. In parentheses are my commentaries.

"Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all — and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” small talk, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying liplock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!

1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss. (I like going left, just to be a rebel.)

2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout! (Sometimes I think people get a little too rigorous and could benefit from simplifying things a little bit. Has anyone else ever been physically injured while being subject to a "passionate" kiss? Only me? Ok....)

3. Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike. (Although, if they found your lip imprint at a crime scene I don't think they have a database to run it against.)

4. Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches. (I've used this remedy for headaches. One of the only two things that works for me. Ladies, no more saying "I have a headache" to get out of it ;) )

5. The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing. (I spend more time than that in the car. That's pathetic!)

6. Ever wonder how an “X” came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself. (Interesting tidbit, but now I want to know where the O came from. So, I did a quick internet search. According to wiki.answers.com, "An O stands for hugs because the shape of arms around a person is roughly the shape of an O, and also because Jewish immigrants who did not wish to discriminate against God by using the turned shape of cross signed with an O instead of an X." The X is more interesting.)

7. Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running. (What?! I highly doubt that. I'll do some research and get back to you. Also, I hate running.)

8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married. (Start getting in line boys. I've got 15 more to go before I can get married, apparently. In case you didn't get that, that's a joke. If you randomly try to plant one on me, you'll get punched in the throat. That isn't a joke. :D)

9. Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t. (I'll be kissing my husband before he leaves for work regardless, but the higher income is a nice added bonus.)

10. The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film, You’re in the Army Now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. So if you’ve beaten that record, it’s time to celebrate!" (That's great, but how is the quality of the onscreen kiss? I'll have to rent it and analyze it. Did you know that my dream job is to be a Kissing Coach for movies? Nothing ruins a good chick flick like a bad kiss. My dream is to remedy that.)

Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time. (This book sounds funny. I think I might buy it.)

My Glee Experience

2010-11-08T18:07:00.011-07:00

Friday, November 5, 2010 was seriously the best day of my life! I won tickets to go to a taping of the Sectionals episode for Glee this season! I took my good friend Kellyn Brandt with me.

I took this picture to illustrate my excitement! And also because my hair is getting really long.

I went and got Kellyn at noon because I wanted to make sure to get there early and scope everything out. The tickets said they were first come first serve and I didn’t want to take any chances at not getting in. We got to the theater a little after 1:00. No one was lined up yet, but there were cops everywhere. We went to eat at CPK and I got the avocado rolls because I haven’t had them in so long. SO good! We went to a soda shop after called Galcos. It’s a store with old fashioned sodas with really hilarious names. I took a lot of pictures. Then we headed back to the theater. It was about 3:30 at this point. The line was already really long, but not too bad. We waited there for 3 hours. Fans of Glee are super annoying! Kellyn and I were going a little nuts. But we had plenty of entertainment. There was a guy who looked like Billy Ray Cyrus. He had the hair, the super country shirt, and the chick sunglasses. Seriously, his hair didn’t budge an inch when he moved. I wish I’d had my camera, but we left everything in the car because they wouldn’t let us take any recording devices in. And I didn’t think we’d be there for more than like a half hour or so. I think I knew better than that, but I left my camera in the car anyway. People who worked with Glee kept coming out sporadically to give us photo release statements to sign and tell us to put our phones in our cars. One of them was really handsome. He looked just like Clinton from What Not To Wear. It was uncanny. He ended up being a big head honcho once we got inside. They finally gave us wrist bands at like 6:00 and they took us in at 6:30. It was definitely annoying to wait that long, but it was SO worth it once we got inside.

The set was interesting where the audience was sitting. There was a floor section and two balcony sections that were at a really steep incline. Kellyn and I were in the upper balcony section on the first row. We missed being in the lower section by like 6 people, which was a little frustrating because the lower section would for sure be on camera. The floor section was filled with dummies, the actor’s parents, and some paid extras. We sat inside for probably another hour before people started coming out on stage. But the Clinton guy said since we waited so long he was going to try to get the actors to come up and do Q&As with us. He said he couldn’t promise anything, but a short while later he brought Chris Colfer (Kurt) up with him! He was literally two feet in front of us as he walked by. That was my first heart attack of the night. SO cute! He is really witty and just completely adorable. Someone asked him why he was so adorable and he said some of it was genetics and he was created in a lab. Another girl asked him if he was single - implying that she wanted to be his girlfriend. I wanted to tell her that he likes boys in real life. He was wearing a Chunk shirt!

The exact one that my sister Amanda has. I thought that was funny. We tried to get him to do the Truffle Shuffle, but he declined.

We were given prop programs, but they were pretty legit and had a lot of information about Sectionals in them. They started filming with one of the other groups. The group was called The Hipsters and they were seniors, as in senior citizens. Seriously, one of the cutest things ever. They sang a song I’ve never heard of called In the Living Years. They filmed the group from behind to get shots of the audience. After they performed, The Warblers performed. They’re the group from the school that Kurt’s new boyfriend is the lead singer of. They sang Hey, Soul Sister, a song that I loathe. But now I have a positive memory of it, so I don’t loathe it quite so much anymore. They rocked it. It was very entertaining and they were wearing the sexiest prep school blazers. I dig men in uniform.

After the first two groups performed, all of the Glee cast members slowly started coming out on the stage and everyone in the audience was obviously screaming. They really weren’t that far away from us. I could see them all perfectly. Cory Monteith (Finn) popped out really quick up on the balcony and said, “Hi!” That was my second heart attack of the night! That’s all he said because he had to go down to film, but he was like 10 feet away from us!

New Directions performed Time Of My Life and a song called Valerie. They were both awesome. The dancing was a lot more involved than they’ve done in the past. Especially in Valerie. Heather Morris (Brittany) and Harry Shum, Jr. (Mike Chang) did a sick swing dance number with all these awesome lifts, or “fireworks” as it was described to us.

There was a lot of downtime between takes and it was so funny to sit and watch the cast interact. Kevin McHale (Artie) and Naya Rivera (Santana) were meowing at each other and Kevin does this game where he plays an animal and the rest of the cast gives him commands like he were a dog or something. He was a big flirt. Kevin would stand up a lot in between takes and the other cast members would play in his wheelchair. When he and Jenna Ushkowitz (Tina) came up for their Q&A it was really funny to see him just walk up. Mark Salling (Puck. That’s right, Puck is back! And so is his Mohawk!) took a video of Harry Shum, Jr. doing a Dirty Dancing impression of Patrick Swayze and posted it on Twitter. I laughed so hard and you can totally hear me in the video.

http://www.twitvid.com/SPVJG

Cory Monteith was staring at me from the stage the whole time. One of the perks of having red hair, I guess: you stand out in a crowd. He and Lea Michele (Rachel) came up together toward the end of the night and when they were called back down they said they’d let them come right back up. People had been trickling out throughout the night and after Lea and Cory went down to film after their Q&A, Kellyn and I moved down to the lower balcony and were in the 3^rd row from the front, right in the middle section. That’s when they did most of the filming of the audience, so we’re totally going to be on the show if they show the balcony section at all! They sent us home right after that.

Half of the actors came up for Q&As at one point or another except for Amber Reilly (Mercedes), Heather Morris, Matthew Morrison (Mr. Shue), Harry Shum, Jr., Naya Rivera, and Mark Salling. Harry and Mark came up and signed some autograph’s, though, so all the cast except for three people came up to at least say hi. Naya and Heather may have been in that group, too, but I can’t remember. And they were all just feet away from me! Dianna Agron (Quinn) was so sweet. She is completely the opposite of her character in real life. And Chord Overstreet (Sam) seems like he’s in love with her in real life as well as on the show. The cast members who didn’t come up all waved to us from the stage and most of them said something to us. Matthew Morrison told us we were sexy.

We got to be there for four hours. Best four hours of my life! There were so many things going on around me that made me want to pee my pants the whole time! The whole day I just kept saying, “This is real!” I accomplished one of my main goals of moving to California and I was on Glee! It was so amazing! It wasn’t what I had originally anticipated when I moved out here to try to get on the show, but I’m completely satisfied with the opportunity I got. It was seriously the BEST DAY EVER!!!!

"In all living have much laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." -Pres. Hinckley

2010-11-02T21:44:00.003-06:00

There have been a lot of thoughts running through my head lately; lots of frustration and sorrow and surprisingly some joy. Pretty mixed emotions, to say the least. But mostly I've been frustrated with people complaining. We tend to complain about things a lot. It may sound like something as simple as: "My day was uneventful; I'm bored; nothing exciting happened today." What I wouldn't give to be able to say those things about the past couple weeks. I'd be glad to be able to say those things. Now, don't get me wrong, I think venting is important so we don't let negativity fester and build up and cause more stress and there are plenty of legitimate reasons to complain in this life. But when someone complains in a way that makes it sound like the world is coming to an end or their life is over, that's when I get frustrated. I understand, I know I've said things like that in the past and I've claimed to feel that way. I used to feel like that all the time and not want to go on living over the smallest thing, but recently my life was put into perspective and I have a problem with saying things like that and feeling like that now. When your car won't start, when the person you like doesn't like you back, when you sleep through your alarm and are late for work or school, get cut off driving, hate your job, get cheated on, beat up, broken up with, life hands you lemons in any way shape or form, when you think you couldn't possibly handle any more heartache, I assure you that your life is absolutely NOT over. I know there are things that make you feel like that, and I know you're going through a list of things in your head right now that you think contradict what I'm saying and you're probably offended. That's not the point of this post. I just want to share the perspective I've gained with you.

Last week my family's lives came to a screeching halt. My brother's wife was pregnant with twin boys and by February we were going to have our 15th grand-baby/niece/nephew. She went into pre-term labor on October 20 and held out miraculously until October 25 when both babies were born and died after only an hour of living and suddenly our lives weren't so filled with hopefulness. If anyone has a good reason to feel like their lives are over and give up it's my brother and his wife. But they reacted the opposite way. They look at this tragedy as a reason for living, a reason to love each other more, a reason to live righteously so they can be with their sweet boys again. They are my heroes. My brother said something on his blog that I want to share with you:

"What's your worst fear? Most people are afraid of a lot of things: public speaking, spiders, water, heights, failure, the opposite sex . . . I've only ever been afraid of one thing: my family and loved ones getting hurt...

At 7:42 a.m. on October 25, 2010, the unthinkable happened. My worst fear punched me right in the face. I stared down my worst nightmare...

Funny how life slaps you in the face. At 7:42, the most bittersweet moment of my life...Julie and I had decided that we weren't going to have the doctors try to resuscitate our boys. We knew they weren't going to make it and we wanted them to spend what little time they would be alive by being held in our arms; not lying on a table with tubes and pumps and probes.

Benson and Lincoln came into this world together, and they left together. At 8:30 a.m. on October 25, 2010... our boys were gone. Even though we knew it was coming, Julie and I both broke down. It was absolutely the worst moment of my life...

I had an epiphany yesterday. I realized that I've been through hell... I've faced my absolute worst-case scenario. And you know what? I'm still here. I'm still Jeffrey. I still have my sense of humor. And I'm still going to change the world.

I realized yesterday that once you've faced your worst nightmare and broken through it, there's only one direction to go: UP.

There is pretty much nothing that could ever happen to me that could possibly be worse than the loss of my twin boys. But I've learned that no matter what happens, no matter how bleak the outlook becomes, there is always hope. It's always my choice. It's always going to be okay. And I can always go UP."

I don't think there is anything worse in the world than losing a child, let alone two and at the same time. It would be so easy for my brother and his wife to just give up, but they haven't. They instead are blessing other people's lives and truly changing the world. I know they've changed mine. The faith my brother and his wife have showed through this obviously difficult time is an inspiration. I'm still going to complain, I'm still going to get upset, I'm still going to give into human nature and make mistakes, but I'm going to try a lot harder not to and I will never again let myself feel like my life is over, because it's not. This has been a really hard time for my whole family. It's not easy and each day is an emotional battle, but we're going to get through it. Like Jeffrey said, it's always going to be okay. In their one hour of living, my sweet nephews Benson and Lincoln changed my life forever. I'm sad I didn't get to meet them, but I'm going to change my life and be the best me I can so I will get to meet them. I know they're watching over me and all of my family and helping us through. I hope everyone can find such a strong motivation to be their best. I hope everyone can find something to hope for even in the darkest times. I hope everyone can find joy even in the most tragic circumstances because there is always a reason to be your best, there is always a reason for hope, and there is always a reason for joy. I pray that everyone can find those reasons and live for them.

Glee-cap: Brtiney/Brittany

2010-09-29T18:55:00.005-06:00

This was the most fantastic Glee episode thus far, completely trumping my original favorite episode, Laryngitis. I L.O.V.E. Brittany. She's always had excellent one-liners, and this episode was full of an overwhelmingly brilliant slew of them, but giving her complete thoughts together with her dancing and singing abilities created a bombshell, making me change my opinion of her from being mildly amused to sheer adoration. Her monologue about why she didn't want to sing Britney songs left me gasping for air from utterly awesome delight: "My name is also Britney Spears. My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pearce, that makes me Brittany S. Pearce: Britney Spears." Oh, the joy in my heart.

Some of the best Brittany one-liners from the night:
-"This room looks like the one on that space ship where I got probed." (Carl not reacting was the cherry on top.)
-"When I smile I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs."
-"Finn can fly?"

Brittany attacked everything. I've never wanted to be anyone else so much in my life! She looked almost exactly like Britney Spears in the videos, it was uncanny. That snake almost went in her mouth and she didn't even react! She is such an amazing dancer, I'm glad they finally gave her the chance to shine and gave us the opportunity to witness her gloriousness. I wish I were as hot as her and that I could dance like that. And holy crap, those little kids in her fantasy rocked it! Also, I love it when SYTYD dancers are on the show. Sometimes they're hard to spot, but it's always such a joy to see them.

There were other things in the episode that I enjoyed as well as Brittany. For example, Emma's elation about the seemingly simple act of mixing the green grapes and the red grapes together in one bowl with Carl was adorable. "It was madness, sheer madness." And then John Stamos walked in and all of a sudden there he was, just like that. It was glorious.

I loved that almost all the Glee kids had perfectly white, shiny teeth like movie stars, except for Brittany, Artie, and Rachel, who prides herself on her star quality. Poor Artie. Another glorious one-liner from Brittany: "I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist."

Kurt was a sassy little fire house in this episode. He's never had that much spunk or passion that he's voiced before, except for that one time when he called out Finn when they were going to be roommates. It was a little shocking, I'm not sure yet if it was in a good or a bad way.

I liked Brittany better as Britney than I liked Rachel. I thought she looked cute, though. It just wasn't her best style of music. She's definitely more of a balladeer :) (that word totally spell checked, in case you were wondering). You could tell she was uncomfortable with the dance moves, too. I'm not sure if Lea Michele just needed to loosen up or if they were having her act a little uptight on purpose because that's Rachel.

That creepy blogger guy's reaction to Rachel's school girl look was so awfully wrong it was fantastic. "What do you want for her? I'll give you anything. I'll give you my house. I'll kill my parents and I'll give you my house." I think I would have reacted the same way Finn did if I were faced with that in reality, walked away wide-eyed and terrified. I'm not even going to get into the HORROR Sue saw.

I was so embarrassed for Will with all the gimmicks he pulled to try to win Emma back. He was such a douchey ex-boyfriend in this episode. Boys, take note, copying the new guys' every move will just make you look like an idiot, and a scrambling idiot at that. But question, why does Terri get a spousal support check when she's the hag that wrecked their marriage? She is scary!

I think it's amusing, but frustrating, that they have singers guest star on Glee, but they don't sing. Josh Groban, hello?! And again with Britney Spears. At least they had Olivia Newton John sing on the show. But since Josh Groban is the reason I started watching Glee in the first place, I would like to see him sing when he guest stars.

I almost died when the football team started breaking out to "Stronger"! First, they got down to "All the Single Ladies" (which got me hooked on Glee to the point I could never look back), and then this. Sheer genius. I love Artie so much. He's probably my favorite. He's so preppy, but so gangster. He's always so hardcore in the songs he sings. And is it just me, or is Finn improving with his dancing? Last week when he tried out for the Cheerios was the highlight of my life. I feel like he's starting to hold his own. The best part was when Artie woke up: "Mmmmm. Britney."

It warmed my heart when Coach Bieste had change of heart about Finn and Artie being on the football team. I really like where her character is going. She doesn't creep me out like Coach Tanaka did. I think it was his form fitting spandex/rayon clothing and the fact that he was always sweaty. I wouldn't have dated him even if I weren't a germaphobe like Emma. But I am one, so maybe that's why I wouldn't. I'm not nearly at the level Emma is, though.

Did it weird out anyone else that Mr. Shue danced with his students in such a provocative number? I was a little worried about where that was heading. He totally creeped me out in this episode. He's sexier when he doesn't try to be. I have been really wondering what was intentional and what was just happenstance in the way the characters came off in this episode. I also wonder what the "Toxic" performance will do for the Glee Club, if anything. I did enjoy Mr. Shue's singing in the song, but it was still creepy. At least he acknowledged it later on. The cat calling from the blogger guy and the girl standing next to him made me laugh uncontrollably: "Mr. Shue, let me be your Britney." "Mr. Shue, I want your babies." And Sue's line was the best: "It's a Britney Spears sex riot!"

Okay, question: Carl or Mr. Shue? Who would you pick? I already love Carl. If I were Emma, I would totally choose him, especially after the way Will acted in this episode. I don't even care if Carl can sing or not. And not just because he's John Stamos, but if I remember correctly, he can sing (have mercy!).

One last thought about Mr. Shue's plot line this episode, I'm sorry Will, but it wasn't that you weren't good enough for Emma the way you were, it was that you weren't loyal to her...

I really liked the development of Rachel and Finn's relationship in this episode. Rachel worried me at first. She was a little too manipulative and unreasonable, and I realize she acted that way because of her insecurities, but it was awful. I appreciated that they grew stronger instead of just breaking up. I'm curious when they're going to bring to light the fact that Finn and Santana slept together and that Jesse and Rachel didn't. I miss Jesse. And what happened to Puck and Quinn's relationship? Puck never stays with anyone for very long and they rarely talk about his bouncing around. But he told her he loved her, that's not something I'm just going to forget. I'm glad that Finn shot Quinn down, even though it was awful of Rachel to test him like that. The way Finn looked at Rachel when she was singing to him was beautifully heartbreaking (I love Paramore), and the moment when he pushed through Brittany and Santana over to Rachel and walked down the hall holding her hand was so My So Called Life that I almost cried.

The writers and creators of Glee wanted to give Brittany her limelight, and they succeeded with flying colors. I'm a Brittany fan through and through. I hope they'll continue to showcase her talents in each episode to come. This show is pure brilliance. It's a show that encourages people accept themselves and others for who they are. It makes me want to be a better person. And it thoroughly entertains me in the process. There isn't anything else out there like it.

American Dream my eye

2010-04-09T23:19:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking a lot about the "American Dream" lately. In theory, a place where someone can go and become whoever and whatever they want sounds fantastic. In reality, though, it's more like a nightmare. We're almost forced to work mundane, useless jobs where we're under appreciated, and abused physically, mentally, and emotionally, essentially working for other people's gain just to give all our hard earned money to people who don't even need it, unless we're lucky enough to be our own boss and can do as we choose. But even then, we have to pay taxes, and follow certain laws and ethics that were set up by who knows who. We live in a time where we can choose any profession we want and chase after it, go to school, start a business, anything. But let me tell you something, I stopped learning new things in the 6th grade because after that point I was taught the same things I had already learned, or things that were useless. In college, I learned logarithms, and by learned I mean I knew what they were long enough to do the homework, forgot everything about them, reviewed them for the test, and once I had taken the test the information went right back out of my brain. I've been out of high school almost six years now, have I ever once used a logarithm? No! So, why did I waste brain power, time, energy, and money learning them in college? Whatever happened to the days of apprenticeships where you chose your profession and went to work alongside a master? You'd learn the skill in a few months and then spend your time perfecting it. Now, you sit in a desk and are talked at for four years before you're allowed the slightest experience with your chosen profession. I don't learn from lectures and books, I learn from experiencing things first hand, and I retain the information for much longer. If the information is relevant and useful, then I'll remember it because I'm constantly using it. Logarithms, bah! I'm not going to be a mathematician, or a physicist, or whoever uses those things, so I didn't need to learn about them. The so called dream has complicated things. Sure, there are perks, like being able to Google something you're curious about. But find a good old fashioned book and you could do the same thing. Or social networking sites that allow you to contact friends you haven't seen or heard from in years, but I remember the good old days when people would write each other letters. Go figure. My brother said he thinks computers will be the downfall of our society. I agree with him. Think of all the things that computers complicate. I know, they're great, whatever. They're a plague, and yet here I am using one. We're at the mercy of technology. Computers are making it so we don't have to think anymore. As I'm typing this, I don't have to make sure that I spell things correctly, because the computer checks it for me. It's all too convenient. We look at the world around us and see ancient buildings and creations with character and history that were built in spite of the seemingly impossible feat it was, but somehow it was accomplished. We now have technology and machines that can easily create such beautiful buildings, but it's out of budget and not profitable to create things of quality, so we build concrete boxes instead. Cars, great in theory, but add in the factors that we have no control over like traffic lights, stop signs, speed limits, over zealous testosterone fueled cops, never ending construction and other cars and the egos that come with them, and they just add to the problem instead of creating a solution. Give me a horse drawn carriage, or a place where I can walk everywhere I need to go over a car any day and I'll take it gratefully. They complicate things. I don't like complicated. I want to live in a place where I can go out in the sunshine and enjoy it, and not have to worry about where I have to be, or who's expecting me where. I want to grow my own food, make my own clothes, read a book lying on the sand at the beach, and watch the sun set over the crashing waves and have some space and land and room to breathe around me, and time to myself where I can do the things I love without feeling guilty like I'm shirking my responsibilities. Give me that, let me have that, and I will feel free.

"Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat. I want to beat it with a bat. I want to stab it with a fork. It makes you look like such a dork."

2010-03-20T21:48:00.007-06:00

Dear little a-holes who egged my car last night, stabbed my tire last year, and threw a rock at my windshield, I don't know why you think it's funny to make people cry and spend money they don't have on repairs; I would like to invite you to be my first victims if I ever decide to be a car serial killer.

Dear driver who likes to go 5 miles an hour in a 35, or stop in the middle of the road, or turn your blinker on to turn right, but get farther left in the lane instead of using the turn lane, or who literally has no logic or consideration for others whatsoever, I loathe your very existence. I don't understand how you can be so oblivious. I want to get out of my car, knock on your window, and give you a piece of my mind. Not that it would do any good, but it might make me feel a little better.

Dear occifer, no, I have not been drinking. It is customary for a person to speed up while attempting to get on the freeway. And you should be congratulating me that I was able to actually go the posted speed limit, let alone exceed it for ONCE in my measly little life, not punishing me. I'm sorry that you don't have a real job because you're a cop in Utah and there is nothing better for you to do than be a creepy stalker. Get a real job, and stop taking your frustrations out on me. How about you pull the people over who impede traffic instead? Their crime is much worse, I assure you. Or how about you catch the little a-holes who have been vandalizing my car, especially when there is plenty of evidence for you to figure it out? Or go arrest the person who was trying to run little kids over on the sidewalk on Halloween since you had the information you needed to do that also? Oh wait, that would take some wit and brain power. My bad, sorry I asked. And no, you cannot have my phone number.

Dear drummer who played for Manchester Orchestra in Salt Lake City on Tuesday, you're beautiful and I am very impressed with the fact that you picked up on all those songs in less than a six week time period. Thank you for taking your shirt off, and playing so vigorously the way you did. Did I mention that I think you're gorgeous? Wanna go out sometime? YOU can have my phone number.

Dear every boy who ever lived, I am a beautiful, talented, dedicated, trustworthy, good kisser, open-minded, accepting woman who hates shopping, and knows how to cook. Why do you make me feel like I'm worthless and the opposite of everything that I am?

Dear the friends who have been there for me, especially these past few months, I love you with all my heart! I can only hope you know that, and that you know I'd do anything for you. You've helped me through some tough times and made me Feel loved, rather than just knowing that I'm loved.

Dear adorable little niece, I want you to come back to Magga's house because you love me, too. And because I love you right back! I will go buy more bubble wrap for you to pop, and more Twinkies for you to eat.

Dear father, thank you for attempting to make an effort to make me feel like I matter to you once or twice in my life, but that's not enough.

Dear brain, why do you insist on making me feel like I've only had two hours of sleep when I've in fact had seven, or eight, or nine? It makes it quite difficult to get through the day on top of everything else. Could you, would you, please stop doing that?

Dear bed, why is life better when I'm wrapped in your cozy grasp, with the lights off, the world shut out, and dreams of marrying Josh Groban frolicking around in my head?

Dear television networks and producers, STOP putting shows on hiatus when they shouldn't be on hiatus!!!!!! And stop telling me a show is back on when it is not. It's not polite.

Dear Facebook, would you so kindly stop changing your layout every 5 minutes? Improvements are great, when they're actually improvements. Changing a site and making it less user friendly each time is the opposite of brilliant. Maybe you're trying to weed out the old people who don't know how to use computers, I don't know. But either way, it's annoying. If you insist on making changes, why don't you take a poll from the people who use the site and find out what the people who make you money want?

Dear certain person with whom I am acquainted at work, if I ask you about something, it doesn't mean that I did something wrong. For instance, I did not delete payments out of the computer because I think it's fun to make more work for myself and others with whom I am also acquainted at work. Oh wait, yes, that's right, I do frequently sabotage myself just for the heck of it for pure enjoyment.

Dear nicest person I've ever talked to in my entire life, I wish I could be more like you. I'd like to be able to persuade people with kindness, but they just make me so freaking mad sometimes. You have no idea the impact you have had on me, though, and I promise to try harder to emulate the kind of person you are.

Dear Michael Buble, I'm right here.

Dear life, I'm trying my best to live you the way I'm sure we both want. My Vision Board is helping, one small step at a time. There are a few things I'd like you to do; I'll call you later.

Thanks,
Rachael

Hi, my name is (insert name here) and I'm a stupid Driver

2009-12-17T12:17:00.005-07:00

Can someone please explain this to me? Why were we given such amazing contraptions such as automobiles for the operators to continue to go walking speed? If they insist on going as fast as they would as if they were walking, then why don't they just get out and walk?! Seriously people. Sometimes I feel as if I'm the only person on the planet who is capable of driving over 20 mph. Is it really that difficult to push your foot down? Well, I guess if Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory can't master driving, being the genius that he is, maybe I should give the rest of the world a break. Let me think about that one... How about NO! Learn to drive PROPERLY, or get the freak off the roads and let the other people who actually know how to take advantage of an invention that is meant to get you places faster actually get places faster. I'd really appreciate it.

You may think I'm overreacting, but I assure you that I'm not. Here are just a few examples of the absurdity I've witnessed during my commutes, and trips, and things that if you do while driving in front of me, or near me, will set me off and you get the not so rare pleasure of witnessing my wrath.

*Going 30 mph (on the freeway, might I mention) and cutting right in front of someone going at least 20 mph faster than you is a brilliant idea. Let me explain something to you, a big hunk of metal going 20 mph slower than another big hunk of metal, with no room to react because you literally got two inches in front of them, equals a big hunk of crunched metal, and dead things. Solution: Pay attention!
*Cutting someone off because you don't want to be behind the slow person in front of you, and in turn putting the person you just cut off in the EXACT situation you were just in and tried to get out of because you didn't want to be behind someone going slow. Where's the logic in that? If you didn't want to be going slow and be stuck behind someone, then why would the person you just cut off want that? Solution: Wait until the person going faster than you has passed you (the two seconds it will take) THEN switch lanes.
*Parking yourself in the fast lane when a)someone is riding your butt AND b)another person is passing you on the left. And on top of that, when the person behind you switches lanes to move around you and you suddenly speed up so they can't pass you, so they get behind you again and you go slow AGAIN. Solution: WAKE UP PEOPLE! Go faster and maintain that speed, or move the freak over! It's NOT hard. Don't be an inconsiderate, ignorant butthead.
*Gunning it around a corner at a stop sign/signal to cut someone off, and then going a minimum of 10 under the speed limit (it's usually more than 10 under when this happens), and there was no one behind the person you cut off, meaning there was absolutely no reason to cut them off. Solution: 1. If you're willing to gun it to cut someone off, at least have the decency to go the speed they were going; 2. Again, wait the two seconds it would take for the person you're so rudely impeding to get past you and then turn.
*Honking at someone, screaming at them, or pronouncing other profanities at them because they were riding your butt or tried to pass you, when in fact they were completely justified and you're the one being rude. 99.9% of the time if someone is riding your tail, YOU are the one who is the jerk. Solution: Don't be a jerk.
*Slamming on your brakes to see the accident or the person pulled over on the side of the road, causing another accident, genius. Seriously? Solution: Mind your own freaking business, OR, if you must, watch the news.
*Slamming on your brakes because you see a cop, especially one who already has someone pulled over. For one, they aren't going to pull you over because you aren't even going the speed limit in the first place, so don't cause an accident on top of impeding traffic. For two, if you ARE going the speed limit, it's not illegal to go that speed, so stop being overly paranoid and just maintain your speed. Solution: Don't be an idiot.
*Cops on the freeway during rush hour, causing the idiot mentioned above to slam on their brakes and cause more traffic. Solution: Cops should realize that there is really no threat of people speeding during rush hour because it's rare that the traffic goes faster than 45 mph, so they should stay off the freeway, or do their jobs and pull the people over who deserve it, and by deserve it I mean the people who do any of the above. Also, if someone does happen to be speeding during rush hour, then good for them for escaping the clutches of the stupidity surrounding them for a brief moment. Who is the cop to take that away from them?

Add them all together on a daily basis, and it's enough to make a person go clinically insane. I'm just about there. I hope this proved to be a learning experience for some people. If you don't agree with me, then keep your comments to yourself, because I really don't care to hear them, and it's my blog, so I can say whatever I want and naysayers can mind their own business. And frankly, if you are offended then that probably means you have done one or all of the previous, and don't think there's anything wrong with it, and then I REALLY don't care what you have to say because I kind of hate you. Mmkay? :)

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

2009-01-30T11:21:00.005-07:00

Isn't it funny how we are told over and over that we should be honest, but we are taught as a society to lie?

For example:
Person 1,"Hi, how are you?"
Person 2,"Good, how are you?"
Person 1,"Good."

How often is that true? More often than not it isn't true. We are expected to be honest, but in order to be kind, a lot of the time we have to lie. No one wants to hear, "I'm not doing very well because I just got dumped and I hate school and I'd really rather stay in bed and die today," in response to a greeting that is simply said out of courtesy and repetition. No wonder why we have such a confused society. No one knows how to act because no matter what we do it conflicts with something else we're supposed to do, or should do. Be nice, or be honest; be on time to school and/or work, or spend a few more minutes with your family at breakfast... We're forced to lie every day because let's face it people, NO ONE is good all of the time. I want to know why the world has become so complicated. We've complicated everything. Dating is more complicated. We have to pretend like we don't like someone we're dating as much as we really do, as they pretend not to like us so we don't scare each other off. What is that? It's a wonder anyone ever ends up together. Having friends is more complicated. Simply having a conversation is more complicated. Guess what?! There is NO such thing as politically correct! No matter WHAT you say someone is going to get offended. Why can't we just be honest about how we feel? I think if we were we might actually be able to say we're good more often, and truthfully without having to fear people thinking we're rude, because we'd have a lot less weighing on our conscience. Or, you know what? Don't ask someone how they are if you don't care enough to listen to the real answer!

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto

2009-01-14T15:01:00.006-07:00

I'm not really a hacker, but I've decided to write a dating creed. These are things that I want, but I haven't always been firm about so I tend to get used or treated badly. Boys are always complaining that girls don't know what they want... Well, I know exactly what I want, I just have trouble getting it so I am typing this to any prospective male I may date. Read as if you are a boy who wants to date me:

I do not hang out with boys I intend to date. If you ask me to hang out, I will assume you want to be put in friend zone and that's where you will stay. If you ask me out via text or Facebook instead of in person or at LEAST over the phone, I consider that hanging out. I also do not make out with boys who have asked me to hang out with them. The whole "We're hanging out, so we might as well make out" mentality does not fly with me. If you want to kiss me, or even hold my hand, or cuddle, you will take me on a date and earn it. That doesn't mean you have to spend loads of money on me. I am a girl who prefers dates with adventure and creativity, something out of the norm that will let me see sides of you that you just don't see sitting next to each other in a movie theater. Put some thought into it. Show me things that YOU like to do. If you really want to win me over, you'll put effort into the things we do together to show that you care and think about me at times other than when we're in the same room.

When you've earned it and we do get to the kissing stage in the relationship (meaning you don't just expect me to kiss you because you've spent money on me and you actually want to kiss me for the right reasons), you will be respectful. That means you will kiss me like you mean it, and not like I'm a piece of meat so I don't sit there thinking, "Whenever you're done," or try to push you away and have you not get the hint. It's pretty obvious when someone is done kissing, so please pay attention and let me breathe every once in awhile.

I do not like taking on the male role in the relationship. I do not like initiating contact, or making all the moves. I'm a girl, I like to feel like a girl. Is it really so much to ask for you to call me and ask me out? Or open my doors for me, or walk me to my car if we're at your house? I think it's common courtesy, and common sense.

Don't just assume things. If I do happen to call you, it doesn't mean I'm obsessed with you in a psycho kind of way. If I express my feelings for you, there is no need to freak out because it doesn't mean I think you're my EC and we're going to get married and have 10 kids together and live happily ever after. I feel that if you like someone and it seems pretty clear that they like you back, and you're dating (duh!) you shouldn't have to play the guessing game, so I'll tell you that I like you. I think you deserve a break from the guessing game, and games in general. It doesn't mean you have to run the other way screaming. If you ask me out on a date I think it's safe to assume that you like me and want to get to know me better, so reciprocating that should not be cause for fear. I don't enjoy the guessing game on either end, so if you like me ask me out on a date. Hoping that I'll figure it out is probably not going to happen. I'm willing to go out with almost anyone once and give them a fair chance, and if I happen to not be interested in you, it doesn't mean that I don't like you as a person and we can't be friends. Sometimes it just isn't there, it doesn't mean you have to get your ego wounded and treat me like you hate my guts. Be a grown up. If you're rude, it's probably not going to help your chances. I am a reasonable person, and easily influenced by the opinions of others. If you like me and I don't like you, for heaven's sake convince me that you're the greatest guy in the world, sweep me off my feet, and fight for me. Insulting me is not a way to accomplish this. That goes for boys who I do like, too. Just some helpful little hints.

I know Heavenly Father loves me.

2009-01-11T20:58:00.003-07:00

I've been pretty overwhelmed this last week. It didn't start off too well with my friend getting in an accident, and then running around with school and everything. I'm not working anymore and I have enough money to get by for the moment, but I still stress about it because I'm just riding on faith that it's going to work out. I haven't been able to unpack my room. That's not a huge deal, but it's hard to concentrate in clutter and while being really unorganized. And a few other little annoyances here and there that have just made life a little difficult to bear. I am really glad that it is Sunday. Sundays always help me regroup. Not all the way every time, but they get me through. I went to the fireside tonight and President Monson spoke. I've been realizing a lot of my fears lately with relationships, money, where my life is going, school, etc. His talk was exactly what I needed to hear today. He talked about living up to our great expectations and outlined the way to do so. Many of my fears just dissolved because now I know what to do and have a crystal clear diagram to accomplish things. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father's love for me and that He answers my prayers. He knows me personally and He instructs His servants to guide me. For that I am very grateful and I love him right back!!!

Life can change in an instant

2009-01-07T22:23:00.005-07:00

I'm in the process of moving, and my sweet new roommate Michelle offered to help me move my stuff. I asked if she would help me on Monday because she has a truck, and loading stuff in my car was proving to be a slow process. We were at our townhome right before we headed to Hurricane and decided that rather than riding together we would take two vehicles and she would follow me to my house so I could put clothes and things like that in my car and not have them exposed. We got in our cars and started on our journey. I think we hit every light on the way. When we finally got to the Hurricane exit I started to notice snow on the sides of the road. I didn't think much of it because the roads looked clear. There were hardly any people on the road, but the person in front of us was going slow, so I went around them and Michelle followed. I had just switched back into the right lane and glanced in my rear view mirror. Michelle was moving into the right lane and then it looked like she was doing a U-turn. I was thinking, "What is she doing?" And I started moving back into the left lane to turn around and follow her. I was still watching in my rear view mirror and saw her get hit and her truck basically looked like it exploded because yellow pieces of plastic and metal flew in every direction. I didn't realize that the roads were icey until I slammed on my breaks in the turn lane so I could flip around faster and my car started skidding. Michelle had hit black ice and slid into oncoming traffic. She was perpendicular to the road when she was simultaneously hit by two vehicles, a green van and a white suburban type of car.

I called 911 and I couldn't even talk. The officer asked me at least three times if I was calling about the accident in Hurricane. It had already been called in because there was a cop right behind the green van. He had stopped and started getting the situation under control while his partner directed traffic. I finally found my words and told the officer that yes I was calling about the accident in Hurricane. He asked me where it was and again I couldn't speak. I was searching for a mile marker or something and my mind was racing because I just wanted to get to Michelle. He asked me several times where the accident was and I finally told him was by the Hurricane welcome sign, it was the only landmark I could find. I don't remember the rest of the conversation, but it was brief.

There was gas spewing from Michelle's truck and the officer who had stopped told me to keep away as I aproached. He wasn't sure if it would ignite and he didn't want me anywhere near. Michelle was awake and crying. She kept saying she was sorry and that she was stuck. I did what I could to try to talk to her, but I couldn't get very close. I told the cop that I wanted to go hold her hand and he said that he would do it because he didn't want me in danger. He sent me to do little projects, like getting fire exstinguishers and trying to get ahold of Michelle's parents, to keep me from getting hysterical. I have a history of accidents in my family. I've been in a few myself, but I've never witnessed an accident involving someone I know before. And I felt responsible because she wouldn't have even been out there if it weren't for me. He was a very smart cop, and very good at his job. I was on the verge of tears, but I never got hysterical which is amazing considering the situation.

Ambulances and other police officers arrived quickly. Michelle had to be cut from her truck because the seatbelt was stuck and the door wouldn't open. They had her out and in an ambulance within about 30 minutes of the accident. The paramedics weren't sure if anything was wrong, but they thought her hip may have been broken. I insisted that I ride with her in the ambulance because I didn't want her to be alone and I didn't know what else to do. I had to know what was going on and if she was okay. If she had been seriously injured or killed I don't know what I would have done. Once we were in the ambulance I was able to talk to her more and I got her mom's phone number from her. I called our Bishop so he could come give her a blessing once we got to the hospital. The whole situation seemed so surreal. We got to the hospital and they made me sit in the ambulance while they got Michelle to a room. I didn't want to be in the way, so I stayed put. I went in the room and was finally able to try to comfort her. She kept apologizing and saying that she was sorry she couldn't help me move and she kept thanking me for being there with her. She is amazing.

The officer who had stopped first came into the room. He had personally gathered all of Michelle's things from the accident sight and brought them to her at the hospital. He was a godsend. He came in and held Michelle's hand again and was so sweet. His name is Kim Seegmiller and he's one of the most amazing men I've ever met. It was a terrible situation, but it would have been much worse if he hadn't been there to take care of things the way he did. The Bishop and his wife arrived right as Officer Seegmiller was leaving. They took Michelle for x-rays and a cat scan, so we all went out in the lobby to wait. Our other roommates, Sarah and Candice came to wait with us too, and a few of Michelle's extended family members were there. Her parents live a few hours away so they didn't get there for awhile. Luckily, she had no broken bones, no concussion, just some bruising and scrapes. She was in a lot of pain, but nothing too serious so they released her that night. I am so grateful that she's okay and for how incredible she is. I'm not at all happy that she got in an accident, but there were a lot of little miracle surrounding it that I'm grateful for. Her truck is completely totalled, but she was hit on the front end and on the bed and the cab was untouched. And I should have been with her. I didn't even realize that until she said she was glad that I wasn't. I still haven't figured out which way the white car was driving because of where it hit her, but the fact that both cars hit her simultaneously is almost a miracle too because it kept her from ricocheting into other cars. And it was right after 5:00 p.m. There should have been WAY more cars around at the time of the accident, but traffic was really light. The fact that Officer Seegmiller was right behind the van was probably the biggest miracle because of how much he helped everyone. A lot of people offered their help, too. Bishop called me after he had left to thank me for calling him and letting him know what happened and he offered to help me finish moving. A lot of people from the ward offered to help me move, but I was afraid to let them. They were so kind to both Michelle and me.

All the roommates went over to Michelle's aunt's house to visit with her and her parents. She introduced me to her family as the girl who saved her. What an amazing person. I'm really excited to be able to live with her, and Sarah and Candice are equally amazing. I've got all my stuff moved, and I have a lot of unpacking to do now. I miss my sister and her family already, but I'm excited for this new chapter in my life. I couldn't ask for better roommates.

I love Sundays with all my heart!

2009-01-04T22:36:00.004-07:00

I feel like I haven't been to church in ages. Last week I was still home for Christmas and I slept through my alarm for 9 am church in my home ward. The week before was a combined musical Sacrament meeting with four other wards from my stake, Sunday school was about 20 minutes long, and Relief Society was another musical meeting. I love music, it is powerful, but I feel like I haven't been Spiritually fed by the good word of God for about a month, at church anyway. Church today was amazing. I caught up with some friends, made new ones, received the Spiritual uplifting that I've been longing for, and I got a new calling. I'm the Institute rep for my ward and I couldn't be more excited about it!

My little brother blessed that Sacrament today for the first time. He was set apart as a Priest on Monday so today he and my older brother blessed the Sacrament together. I wish I could have been there to see it. I was at least able to be present for his setting apart. I was supposed to go home to St. George Monday afternoon and go back to work, but I called in and was able to find people to work for me so I could stay an extra day. I'm so proud of him!

The new semester starts tomorrow, and I'm really glad that I had a Sunday to prepare. I'm really nervous for some reason. This semester shouldn't be any harder than the last. In fact, it should be easier because I'm taking classes that I want to take and I don't have to wake my brain up from a four year slumber again. But I'm nervous nonetheless. I think I need to do some schedule rearranging because a three hour class from 8-11 pm just doesn't sound appealing to me, and it's going to hinder several other things... It's also hard to decide which classes to take when you're contemplating a transfer to a different school. What's the point in taking pre-recs if they won't apply at another school? But there is also a problem if I decide to stay and haven't taken them. What to do...? I'll figure it out.

New Year's in Vegas: Good... Beer rain: Bad

2009-01-01T19:14:00.006-07:00

For New Year's Eve this year I went to Vegas with a bunch of friends. We loaded nine people into a seven passenger van, got cozy, and headed off to the city of sin. We arrived at about 9 pm and embarked on our horrendously long journey from the Riviera to the Bellagio to see the fountains. I was wearing heels... I've never really been to Vegas except for just passing through and I had NO idea how long the Strip was. Needless to say, by the end of the night I did not need alcohol to give the appearance that I was inebriated... I could hardly walk because my feet hurt so badly and I'm sure that people thought I was drunk. I was drunk by association because there was so much alcohol around. When midnight came, people were crushed together in a massive crowd and beer was raining down. As people began to leave there was a surge of pushing and no one was going anywhere. When one person finally broke through, the entire crowd shifted in a spiral fashion. I thought it was hilarious, though my friends didn't find it so amusing. It was a fun-filled, sober night for a bunch of small city Mormons a little overwhelmed by the eye popping scenery of Las Vegas. It was a fun experience, but one I would not like to ever re-enact. In case you were wondering, we were only witness to the chaos, we did not participate. We got back just before the sun came up, and I didn't wake up until just before it set today.

Now for my New Year's Resolutions. I have many, but I'll only share a few. Especially since my brain has not quite recovered yet and I can't remember most of them at the moment. But here they are:

-Get caught up on my journal and also write each day.
-Continue in my attempt to overcome fears.
-Visit home more often, hopefully about once a month if the gas prices stay low.
-Go to every class this semester (unless sick, or out of town), and be on time
-Have an adventure at least once a month (road trip, vacation, new experience, etc.)

Reminiscence

2008-12-30T01:43:00.002-07:00

I've been pondering a lot lately about how my life is going. It's interesting to look back and think of what my life was like this time last year. It's a lot different. I remember thinking at the beginning of this year that it was going to be an awful year. The first thing that happened this year was my car getting vandalized on New Year's and having to fork over a $500 deductible for about $1000 worth of damage to my car. And I got a ticket immediately after taking my car into the repair shop and getting my rental. It was off to an excellent start. There were other things that added to the consensus that this would in fact be an un-joyous year, but I won't get into it. There were also things that suggested otherwise, like my boss giving me money to cover the deductible. Just giving it to me. And my best friend taking me on a trip to San Diego just to get away. It was a roller coaster of a year, but it is ending well. I am a published artist and writer. I got really good grades in school. I have three amazing callings in my ward. I am a better person than I was a year ago, and I'm truly happy. Thank goodness someone is watching over me who knows what I need and directs my paths. I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Christmas

2008-12-26T22:06:00.002-07:00

Christmas was great this year. I had to work on Christmas Eve and I was expecting to get off at 7 p.m. and then drive home. All the salesmen wanted to go home too I guess, so I got off work a little before 4 and was able to get home at 7:15ish and surprise my family. It was the greatest. I told my sister who I live with in St. George that I was leaving early because I decided it would be smart to have at least one person know I was on the road.

My Grandpa died in June of this year, and he would always read the Christmas story to my family on Christmas Eve so it was hard for everyone that he wasn't here. Two years ago we recorded him reading it for the last time; he was too sick last year for us to go see him. I was sick two years ago with some sort of flu, but my brother gave me a blessing and I felt better. I'm so grateful for the Priesthood so I could spend that last Christmas Eve with my Grandpa. We watched videos of him on Christmas Eve, the ones from his funeral and the one of him reading the Christmas story and we all blubbered like little girls. My Mom gave all of us framed pictures of us with Grandpa. It was one of the best Christmas Eves I've had.

Christmas day was really relaxed. Last year the family didn't wake up until about 9 because we're all grown up now. I woke up thinking they had Christmas without me. This year my brother's kids were here so we woke up just before 7 a.m. I got some sweet gifts, including a piano and the keys light up on it! Then I slept for most of the day. Oh, the joys of holidays. I love sleeping!

Happenings & Changes

2008-12-23T19:46:00.006-07:00

I'm going home for Christmas tomorrow! I'm way excited about it. At first it was going to be the same situation as Thanksgiving. I was supposed to work the Saturday after so I would have had to come home after a day and a half, but again some angel decided to close the office. So now I get to go home from the night of Christmas Eve until Monday afternoon. It's going to be awesome! I can't wait to see my Mom. I've been missing her a lot these days, to the point of wanting to move home. But I'm staying in St. George for at least Spring Semester, although I am applying to BYU for next Fall. I don't know if that's what I'll do, but I want to at least apply.

I'm moving in the next week or so. I will be blocks from campus. I'm excited to have roommates and people to hang out with. I'm also excited that when I have a few hours between class that I can go home now instead of figuring out what to do so I don't have to drive to Hurricane and back. Now it's just a quick walk.

My last day at my job is on the 31st. Only four more work days. I'm going to miss the girls I work with, but it's going to be nice to not have to work. I'm going to try to sell my cards for a little income on top of my scholarships and stuff. I've put a few of them up on http://www.thescrapbookingcricut.com/, my sister's website, and we'll see how that goes.

While I'm enjoying the semester and Christmas break (I slept in until about 1:30 today and it was divine!), I am excited for the new semester. I'm going to have about 40 hours of classes each week, but I can't wait. I have four art classes, two dance classes, four institute classes, I'm on the newspaper staff, and I have a smatter of other classes as well. It's going to be wonderful.

I've lost some friends recently (not to death, just by choice on my part or theirs), but I've also made several new ones. I can make connections with new people easily, but sometimes I have a hard time maintaining a friendship. I get insecure and scared that they won't like who I am. That's one of the biggest fears I need to overcome, and has been one of the most difficult for me. I have very few longtime friends, but those I do have I cherish. I've had a lot of single-serving friends, or friends for a season. More than I would like to. I'd like them all to be longtime friends. I found a quote by Jim Carrey that I wanted to share. He said, "I believe that everything that happens to you is the greatest thing that could ever happen to you." I really like that because it goes along with everything happens for a reason. I've found lately that even the things that seem awful turn out to be the best thing for you, so I completely agree with him. Who knew he could be so insightful?

Interesting

2008-12-20T22:58:00.000-07:00

Life is interesting. It is interesting to see events come to pass in life and think that something is one way but it's really another, good or bad. When I moved to St. George I was running away. I thought my life was over (yes, I'm over dramatic), and I thought it was unfair that I had to change my life because of circumstances that were out of my control. It was a hard transition, but it turned out to be the biggest blessing in my life so far. I've really learned a lot about myself over the last year, and I've grown up A LOT. I've gained experiences that would have taken me a lot longer to experience if I had stayed in Orem. It's as if I had my eyes opened down here. I tried to run away from my problems but I realized how to deal with them instead. I don't know why, but I'm surely not going to complain about it.

I've still got leaps and bounds to go before I can say that I'm even close to the person that I want to be, but I'm getting there. I'm moving forward and growing, I'm happy, I'm more confident, I'm stepping outside my comfort zone, and challenging myself. If something scares me I decide to do it anyway to prove to myself that I will not let fear rule my life. I have lived that way and I don't like it. I don't like missing opportunities because I'm afraid to try something, or being treated badly because I'm afraid to stand up for myself. I don't like having to hide who I really am because I'm afraid of not being accepted or understood. I'm not afraid to fail, lose, be wrong, or make a fool out of myself... Well, I am, but I'm not going to let it stop me from shooting for the stars. I still sometimes let my fears get the better of me, but I'm working really hard to not do that, but instead use my fears as a motivation. One of the teachers at my high school always said, "It's better to shoot for the stars and miss than aim for a cowpie and hit." I concur!

Tender Mercies

2008-12-17T22:45:00.001-07:00

The Lord works in mysterious ways, like they always say. I've been looking for a place to live closer to campus and I found this AMAZING house right by the temple, and only a few blocks from campus. It has a pool, and it's old and vintage. I love it. My brother knows the landlords, and the rent is only a little over $200 a month. I just needed some roommates. So, I started praying that I'd find some. On Sunday I sat by my friend in Sunday school and I was going to ask if she knew anyone who needed roommates. But she asked me where I lived first. So I said that I live in Hurricane, but I'm trying to move. She said she's looking for a roommate so I should move in with her. My prayers were answered! Not in the way I expected, but a blessing none the less!

And this makes me feel like I'm in Jr. High, but it's been making my life interesting lately. I see this boy at the Firesides every week and I've had a crush on him since the first one I went to like 3 months ago, but I still haven't met him. I at least know his name, but we've had nothing more than slight interactions, waving and saying hi. I see him everywhere, though. It makes my day every time. I know, totally Jr. High, but it's something that makes me smile.

I quit my job. I had two, and I quit one about a month ago, and now I've quit the other one. I feel like I'm down here to go to school to be an artist and my schedule for the coming semester doesn't really permit me to work, so I prayed about it and I took a leap of faith and quit my other job. So, now I'm just a full time student. All I've ever done is work, so it's a relief. School doesn't feel like work to me. I enjoy it immensely, even through finals. Somehow it's working out for me to be able to just go to school. I've got waivers and scholarships, and money coming from random sources to keep me afloat. It's all working out miraculously, as everything has with school so far. I love feeling like I'm in the place where I'm supposed to be. Not every day is peachy, like today even, but I am happy to be me and happy to be where I am. The Lord loves me and he's blessing me, and he's blessing my family. Some of my siblings who have been away from the church for some time now are all coming back. That is one of the greatest tender mercies of all. Prayers are answered and the church is TRUE!!!!

Pushing Daisies

2008-12-14T21:13:00.001-07:00

There is a show on ABC called Pushing Daisies, and I am in love with it. The main storyline in a nutshell is about a man named Ned who can touch dead things and bring them back to life. If he brings something back to life for more than a minute, then something else of equal size must die. After he touches something he's brought back to life for the second time it is dead forever and he can't bring it back again. Only one other person knows about his ability. His name is Emerson, and he and Ned solve murders together. Ned's childhood sweetheart and soul mate, Charlotte aka Chuck, is murdered in the first episode and he brings her back to life to find out who killed her. He was going to touch her again and she would be dead forever, but he decided that he didn't want to live without her again after being separated for so long, so he kept her alive. (There are other important details to the show, but this is the background you need for the point I'm trying to make).

Ned and Chuck are completely in love. They were each others' first kiss and neither has ever kissed anyone else, and now they can't touch or she will be dead forever. The thing I love most is that they love each other so much that they're staying together and being faithful to each other even though they can't have a physical relationship. Ned goes out of his way to make sure that Chuck is happy. She loves bees, so he created a bee colony on the roof of their apartment building for her. They pretend to hold hands with each other while they're just holding their own hands, and they held hands through a wall (you have to see it for yourself to see what I'm talking about). They found out that they can touch through plastic or thick materials in one of the episodes, so Ned builds contraptions that they can hold each other through. Chuck kissed him through Saran wrap in that episode. It is adorable. Ned says sincerely sweet things to her all the time, for example, she asked him what he needed to be happy and he replied, "You." And just the way they look at each other. It gives me butterflies just watching them. They can't live without each other and would do anything for each other. I highly recommend watching the show because I can't even hope to accurately describe the appeal of it.

Call me a silly girl, but that is an amazing thing to me. As someone who has been rejected emotionally in relationships over and over again because I won't sleep with the boy I'm dating, to have someone just love me and want to be with me no matter what is something that I long for. The show has an incredibly romantic appeal to it, almost a surreal aspect and it gives me hope. I know it's fictional, but it gives me hope that there are men out there who are mature enough to know that there is more to being in a relationship than just the physical aspects and who would love me, stay with me, find other ways to express their love for me, and be true to me even if they couldn't touch me at all.

Randomocity

2008-12-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

16 random facts about me that I know you are just DYING to know! :) This is a post from my Facebook, and I wanted to post it here as well because I thought it was fun. And p.s. I didn't make the play :( oh well, I didn't let my fear stop me from trying. And, I stood up to some of the people who have been harassing me and so forth. Look at me being all grown up and stuff :P Without further delay:

1. I love Batman, A LOT and I get in arguments with people about why he's the coolest superhero. I even named my blog after him.
2. I open the bathroom door before I wash my hands in my home or other people's homes so I don't have to touch the handle. And in public restrooms I use my sleeve or a paper towel. I'm a germ-a-phobe; I get it from my mom.
3. I don't like animals still because my favorite childhood pet was hit by a car and killed when I was 12 and I had to peel him off the road. And because they're dirty and jump on me. I do like sharks and fish though.
4. I have 2 extra vertebrae in my neck and they are deformed. Normal people have 7, I have 9.
5. I've never had a romantic relationship that lasted over 12 weeks, and we spent 6 weeks of it apart.
6. You never really know what my opinion is going to be on something because I am not a right side or a left side person, I'm somewhere in between.
7. I think in song, or movie quotes. People say things and I start quoting a movie or singing a song in my head. Edward Cullen would not know what was going on if he read my mind.
8. I had a fetish for vampires before Twilight, and that's actually the reason that I read the books.
9. I got kissed by a married guy (who I didn't know was married) when I was 19 and went on a two year kissing fast because I was so traumatized.
10. Call me the weirdest girl in the world, but I don’t want a wedding reception. I want a temple wedding, dress, pictures, and a 3 week long honeymoon. That’s IT. No frilly decorations or flowers, no bridesmaids, no drama.
11. I also don’t like chocolate, or shopping.
12. Caffeine makes me shake, almost like I’m having a seizure. Needless to say, I don’t drink it, or take any pills that contain it.
13. I’ve pretty much had a job in every type of field there is: medical, construction, restaurant, retail, legal, teaching, etc...
14. I have never bought a cell phone. I get the free ones, but I’m really picky about which type I get. It can’t be cheapy plastic or look like a toy.
15. I have really vivid, and really freaky dreams every night.
16. When I was little, one of my friend’s brothers liked to pick on me, so he tried to do Bloody Mary to me and to this day I still can’t go in a dark bathroom.

Play Tryouts

2008-12-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

I tried out for a play today. I have resolved that I'm not going to let fear rule my life and miss out on things because I'm afraid, so this was one of the first steps. I have wanted to try out for this play, 110 In the Shade, for months. I feel like I have an emotional connection with the main character. I'm not an old maid or anything, but I sometimes wonder if I'll live and die alone because I am fearful of relationships (another fear I'm working on). I think the audition went okay. I was really nervous, so I didn't perform the way that I had practiced, and I cut a few notes short, but my voice didn't crack, I didn't do anything too embarrassing, and I was at least able to hold out the last note without waivering, so I think it turned out pretty well. There are a couple more days of auditions, the dance audition tomorrow and call backs on Wednesday, then I find out Thursday if I made it or not. I'm hoping. I think it will be a really good experience for me. It will definitely help me accomplish some of my goals.

Perspective

2008-12-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about perspective lately. I've had several different experiences dealing with this, and my brain has been mulling over it for weeks now. Without giving any specifics, I'd like to share the conclusion I've come to.

Perspective is interesting, and it's interesting in that it seems to be different for each person. And I'm not just talking about dealing with a trial, or many. I'm talking about conversing with people and how we perceive each other. I've been called a liar, stealer, cheater, hater, discriminator, and many other hurtful things in the last few weeks. It's kind of escalated in the last little bit. That's a lot to deal with. I've been the type of person who takes comments like these personally and I begin to question my character and wonder if my accusers are correct. It's been a long road to realize that they're going to think whatever they want about me no matter who I really am. And just because they think those things about me doesn't mean I am those things.

It's still hard, and it's still something I need to continue working at to rise above, but I'm in a much better place than I used to be, even a few months ago. It doesn't matter what other people think of me, and a friend that I admire greatly pointed out to me that it is really none of my business what other people think of me, whether they're wrong or right, kind or unkind. The only person I can worry about is me. I can only know what I am truly thinking, and only I know who I really am. The Lord is not going to judge me based on how other people perceive me. Their perceptions do not define me unless I let them. No, it's not fun to have to deal with it and try to defend yourself in a Christlike manner, and it's even harder to keep the peace and try not to say anything and lash back when things continue to be blatantly thrown at you. But this is a trial that the Lord decided to give me, and it is one that I will, with His help, overcome and grow stronger because of. And I admit that I don't always react the way that I should, but I'm getting better. I am grateful for the opportunity to face these challenges because it means that I'm strong enough to withstand them, and I will one day understand the full meaning of why I was supposed to experience them.

Why I heart Batman

2008-12-02T10:10:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd explain why I love Batman. I've literally been in arguments with people about this. I even have a group on Facebook called Batman is SO much cooler than Superman. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=2259844744

This is pretty much the description from my group:

Batman is way cooler than Superman, or any other hero, because he doesn't have some mutant gene that forced him to be a superhero. The other "heroes," like Superman for example, thought "I'm really weird because I have this alien power and I don't want to be weird so I'll be a superhero and MAKE people like me," which is noble and all that they may use it for good, but Batman became a superhero just for the sake of helping people, for redemption, and to overcome past hardships and not so people would think he was cool. And him not saving people for glory or to not be weird makes him the freaking coolest and way more noble.

I got a brand new hair do!

2008-11-29T18:51:00.002-07:00

I haven't really gotten my hair done since before I moved to St. George... Back in March!! I used to get my hair done at least once a month because I worked at a salon and I'd let them do whatever they wanted. I FINALLY got my hair done today and I'm SO excited! Carrie from Stylin' is amazing. She's not afraid to do what I want. I'm one of the rare people that actually wants what I say I want, so I rarely get it because hairdressers don't believe me. When I say I want something, I really do want it. I love it! I based the cut, and the lowlights on a picture I have of the lead singer of Paramore.

Going home for Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T15:33:00.000-07:00

I'm going home for Thanksgiving today! Right now I'm at work, counting down the hours until I get to drive home. It's only an aproximation, due to the fact that I don't actually know what time I'll be allowed to go home. It could be at 7:00, it could be at 10:30. I hope it's the former since the drive home is just shy of four hours. I can't wait for the drive, though. I'm travelling alone, which I prefer because I can have the temperature, volume, and seat position any way I want. I've got my iPod charged and I'm ready to belt out my favorite songs. I'm stoked for roughly four days of family time and freedom. Originally I was going to be driving home tonight, having Thanksgiving with the fam, and then driving home sometime Friday, probably pretty late because they would want me to stay for as much of Bake Day (our family's favorite holiday, an alternative to horrific shopping on Black Friday) as possible. I was supposed to work on Saturday, but some angel decided that we should be closed. I don't know who they are, but I love them! It was hard to justify the time and expense for about a day and a half, especially since I went home last weekend too and came home for just two and a half days, but I was going to go anyway because I love my family, and because my life was threatened if I were to choose not to go ;).